Bad Trend on Style Bury

What's In A Name: "Goat-Bearded Boot"

By Ella M · September 7, 2010 · 0 Comments · 75 Views

Alexander Wang Polina Goat-Bearded Boot $925.00 by Alexander Wang at Bergdorf Goodman

Not only does this hideously evil boot have what looks like black yeti hair to cover a female's leg, and a name that shamelessly supports its bad-shoe-ness (Goat-Bearded Boot??!?!!), but the actual shape of the boot underneath the foolishness is just bad, itself!

I hate a pointy-toe platform, and this one is unapologetically high, like a KISS boot without a monster face.

It's so much of a disaster, it's like Alexander Wang wants to be bashed on the blogs just for extra publicity. Please, with his studs & leather bags that weigh a ton, and I'm only half kidding, he doesn't need it.

Whyyyy, Devil, whyyyyy?

Also pictured: Alexander Wang Jacquely Boot – Black $695.00 by Alexander Wang at Madison LA

Hairy legs credit

Filed in: Split Screen, Bad Shoe, Bad Trend, Fashion Math
Tagged with: Alexander Wang

Bad Shoes: Vince Camuto - Maria

By Ella M · September 7, 2010 · 0 Comments · 182 Views

Vince Camuto - Maria

$122.00$83.23 by Vince Camuto at Zappos

These remind me of princess shoes for the tacky - or for Paris Hilton on safari. Even off safari, they're all wrong anywhere. Who mixes gold glitter and giant rhinestones with giraffe? Apparently Vince Camuto.

There's only one pair left, in a 5 and a half. Apparently a lot of people fit the bill of this target market, adoring Ms. Hilton and really confused watching "Tacky House"; "but what's wrong with this room???" she asks. And there are many of them, with medium to large feet, making me continue to wonder, "what's wrong with America?"

Vince Camuto is one small part of the problem.

Filed in: Bad Trend, Bad Shoes
Tagged with: Vince Camuto

Bad Fashion: Leopard Jumpsuit

By Ella M · August 27, 2010 · 0 Comments · 284 Views

More leopard!

Why do brands seem to want to make leopard print all-encompassing right now, just because it's trending?

The reality:

A) Leopard is best when subtle and is a small part of an ensemble.

B) Jumpsuits are always bad.

Casual Pants by Roberto Cavalli
Platforms by Prada

To further our frustrations, Net-a-Porter suggests wearing these with "ankle boots" for a "fabulous finish".

It's more like one would finish off the life of her fashion 'cred.

We suggest: definitely go nude shoes, show some ankle! How about sandals, like these Pradas? Still though, make no mistake, we hate this.

We're not sure exactly how to top-off this look, and doubt anyone should try. But we also kind of wish it weren't so blousy with an unflattering "tucked" feel, because we really want to suggest a black belt as finishing touch, but would that even work?

(And then if we did suggest that, we'd go on to suggest a black cardigan, cover this ish up!)

We're afraid this can't work, and must be buried in the dump. What do you think?

*Update* Margin of error = 1 vote. (Read comments for more.)